Suburban Fairy Tales

Little Pig #3

Little Pig #3, the youngest of the three pigs, lives in a world inside his head. He has a childlike innocence to him, is often happy, and has no idea how annoying he can be to his brothers. He’s a little dim-witted, has a weakness for junk food, is quite the slob, and is oblivious to the obvious. Although he can sometimes come off as rude, he always means well and cares for his friends and family even if they don’t always return the favor.

Little Pig #2

Little Pig #2, the middle brother, doesn’t tolerate nonsense and is annoyed at everyone’s incompetence. He’s a rule-follower who expects his brothers to contribute equally to the household chores. He wants everything to be neat and tidy and is often at odds with his brothers, especially Little Pig #3 for being such a slob. Little Pig #2 has no time for dating or other distractions. There’s always work to be done.

Little Pig #1

Little Pig #1 is the oldest brother. He can’t hold down a job because he finds everyone around him, including his brothers, to be unbearably irritating. He’s even-keeled but sarcastic almost all of the time. He would prefer that his brothers leave him alone rather than having to interact with them. His facetious comments can come off as mean, but he just says things how he sees them.

Big Bad Wolf wants to make a meal of the three pigs, especially Little Pig #3. He’s selfish, conniving and mean, but there’s a soft spot deep inside that shows itself every once in a blue moon.  Wolf adores himself and loves being the leader of the wolf pack. He revels in being the strongest, baddest wolf in the neighborhood.

Wolfette

Wolfette can be sweet, kind, and caring, but will take action when she feels an injustice has been done to someone she cares about. She’s often ridiculed by other wolves, especially Big Bad Wolf, for dating Little Pig #3 and protecting his brothers. Wolfette has learned to suppress her meat-eating tendencies through therapy, but there’s no telling if one day she might lose control.

Sir Lambelot

Sir Lambelot is the hippie sheep who recently moved next door to the three pigs. Sir Lambelot is all about meditation, positive energy, and spreading love. His attitude is always mellow, despite the dangers around him, and he’s often forgetful and gets lost easily.

Frog Prince

Frog Prince is Little Pig #3’s best friend. Unfortunately, Frog Prince has never had any luck in relationships and is often down on himself. Every so often he has a spark of hope, which is quickly extinguished by his own insecurities and rejection by others.

Mom

The three pigs’ mother is mean, nasty, and is to be avoided at all costs. She never has anything nice to say, is cranky, grouchy, and very intolerable.

Dermot

Dermot is a “doormat.” He’s engaged to the Pigs’ mother and lets her walk all over him. He has no backbone and is very fearful of wolves.

Bo-Peep

Bo Peep is absent-minded, a bit of an airhead, and unable to keep track of anything – especially her sheep. She’s lost hundreds of them over the years.

Goldilocks

Goldilocks is extremely selfish. She takes whatever she wants and doesn’t care who she has to walk over to get it.